Chapter63 December1984

Not too many minutes had passed since the taxi I had taken with Kristina in front of Sakura had started for Manila International Airport.
　　　“As for your departure to Japan, Trina,” Kristina whispered near my ear, perhaps, to keep the taxi driver from hearing what we were going to talk, although the driver appeared to be inclining all his ear to the loud music coming out of his car radio, “I still believe that you should’ve informed Takano-san of your departure to Japan by some means or other. You feel kind of sabishii (lonesome) without him here, don’t you?”
　　　“No, I don’t, Kristina.” I replied, reminding myself that Melba had departed for her extremely solitary, long, difficult trip all by herself. “I’m happy enough having you here kindly accompanying me to the airport.”
　　　“Are you sure?”
　　　“Yes, I am. And if I don’t look like very happy, Kristina, that’s because I’m a little too excited, I guess. For this is my first job in Japan after two years of long break. ..Too many things are on my mind right now.”
　　　“It’s too late, I know,” Kristina said, ignoring my response, “and Takano-san himself chose not to come to Sakura for so many days. But, no doubt, he’ll be surprised, disappointed, at the news that you’ve already gone to Japan. He’ll miss you badly, Trina. ..Especially since it’s not too long ago that Melba suddenly left for Japan.”
　　　“I don’t think he’ll get surprised that much, Kristina.” I declared, believing that he must have sensed my departure, too, would come soon when he had found me behaving unusually merrily during our Makati date several days earlier.
　　　“I doubt it, Trina.”
　　　“Takano-San knows how abruptly our dates of departure to Japan can be decided, ever since Lisa left for Matsue, Melba for Fukuoka.”
　　　“Nevertheless, I’m sure, he’ll feel he has been let down.”
　　　“He understood very well, Kristina, that all the girls at Manila’s karaoke saloons work there to got to Japan sooner or later, and that I wasn’t any exception.”
　　　　　　　　　　-----
　　　The taxi was heading toward south on Roxas Boulevard.
　　　It was when the cab was happening to pass by the restaurant Aristocrat that Kristina asked me, “So, I guess, even now, you’re not going to tell Takano-san where in Japan and at what omise you’re working, either, right?”
　　　“That’s right, Kristina.” I answered, recalling Melba’s totally perplexed look shown to me at the bus stop on Taft Avenue. “So, please, keep pretending that you, too, are not yet told anything about such things. ..I’m sorry that I’ve given you a very difficult task.”
　　　“To tell a lie or two like that is not so difficult for me, Trina, because, as a karaoke hostess, I’ve made it sort of my habit to protect myself, but... Why? Well, no, I’m not asking these kinds of questions only to annoy you. Instead... All the people who work at Sakura have realized at some point that Takano-san was in love with you. ..He may not have sung even a song with you. And when he was with you alone, he may not have laughed as much as he did with mama Lisa. But, believe me, he looked so happy whenever he was with you.”
　　　Just looking forward, I smiled an ambiguous smile.
　　　Kristina went on. “And, you may not have realized this, but you looked very affectionate, much more than any other time, whenever you were at Takano-san’s table. ..Everybody at Sakura believed that you were in love with him, too.”
　　　　　　　　　　-----
　　　Beyond lines of palm trees along the boulevard, there seen was Manila Yacht Club, outside of whose breakwater a few small boats were sailing tranquilly.
　　　“To be honest, Kristina, I was able to be unusually gentle-hearted whenever I was with him, as you observed. ..I don’t know why. But that’s all. Nothing more than that.
　　　“I knew very well, Kristina, that he was a person who was going to, had to, settle in a place where he would need no woman like Melba or me. Besides, I believe, he himself was aware well that he was seeing in me what he wanted to see, instead of real myself. For him, this country may have been, well, a fantasy island in his dream, at the beginning. And Melba and I may have been his princesses. However, Kristina, I know he has come to realize that Melba and I looked to him his princesses because he was on a fantasy island.
　　　“For Takano-san, I think, Melba and I were just like your ‘very wealthy entrepreneur’s son who drives a red Mercedes-Benz convertible’ or ‘famous rock guitarist’. And, I guess, those Japanese may have given you, Kristina, a few nights of good dreams on your own fantasy island -Japan. But were they anything more than that?
　　　“Having Melba and me near him, Takano-san, too, may have had good dreams which gave him some happy times. But that’s all, after all. Kristina, the fairy tale he has been experiencing in this country is on the verge of its ultimate end. And although it may not bring him a happy end, Takano-san will wake up soundly from the dreams and go back to his own real world. ..Which, I assume, is either in Japan or in California.
　　　“I believe, Kristina, that he doesn’t need to know where in Japan I work. ..Where in Japan Melba lives, too. He must live in a place where he doesn’t need any princesses of fantasy.”
　　　　　　　　　　-----
　　　“Trina, you’re married, aren’t you?” Kristina muttered.
　　　Although I had not anticipated such a question at all, I managed to answer her with composure. “Yes.”
　　　“But, I guess, Trina, that’s not a happy marriage, is it?”
　　　“No, that’s not.” I was very frank.
　　　“Have children?”
　　　“Two daughters. They are with my parents in Bulacan Province.”
　　　I might have told Kristina without hesitation about two different fathers of my two daughters if I had been asked about them.
　　　Kristina said. “There are various kinds of lives in this world, aren’t there?”
　　　“Yes, indeed.”
　　　“Look, Trina.” Having lifted her back from the backrest of the cab, Kristina told me, looking into my eyes. “Answer me honestly. Has Takano-san never looked to you like your 'prince'?”
　　　Instantly, the faces of both Akira and Cesar flashed across my mind, both of which once had looked to me very gentle and intelligent. I answered. “No. He has never looked that way to me.”
　　　“Never looked being a prince who came here unexpectedly from a northern island, being destined to encounter you, to make you happier?”
　　　“No, never.”
　　　“Have you never dreamed such a dream?”
　　　“Well, Kristina, if he had come to Manila a few years ago, I might’ve dreamed... But now, I’m already a woman who knows she can’t live her life by simply chasing her own dreams.”
　　　“Hmm...” Kristina returned her back to the backrest. “Now I know, Trina, you, too, are one of those girls who have had to go through lots of hardships in their lives.”